The same verse is said once each day for the nine days.
(Say the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be three times each.)
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Our Lady of Fatima Novena 5/4 - 5/12
The same verse is said once each day for the nine days.
(Say the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be three times each.)
Sunday, April 30, 2017
Learning to Breathe: How Faith Got Us Through the ‘Pregnancy of Death’
When I wouldn’t abort my high-risk pregnancy, friends left, doctors scolded me, and family braced themselves for my possible death. But little Henry? He had some breathing lessons to teach me.
My four-year-old son, Henry, has a little song that he likes to chant: “Me and Mommy, best buddies together! Me and Mommy, best buddies forever!” I can’t help but smile when I hear this cheerful little chant, thinking to myself how very true it is. My pregnancy with Henry was probably the hardest out of my five pregnancies. And though it was the best pregnancy physically, emotionally, it was the toughest.
On November 22nd 2009, I had my fourth child—a beautiful baby girl who we named Anna. We spent the first week with her in complete happiness. Anna was a good baby. She nursed and slept well, and was for the most part, content. I now had two boys and two girls. Christmas was coming, and Anna’s big sister, Lucy, was going to turn four years old soon. Life was good.
Then on December 1st of that same year, as I was nursing Anna, I had a coronary dissection, which resulted in a massive heart attack. My life ended that day and when I woke up a week later on a vent, a whole new one began.
Believing that the dissection was connected to pregnancy hormones, I was warned over and over to never get pregnant again. The thought of “no more babies” tore at my heart; I was only 35 and knew that I still had childbearing years ahead of me. But for the sake of my family, for the sake of the children I already had, I agreed to not have any more children.
“When is my baby brother coming?”
And then one day, a year later, my eight-year-old son asked me, “Mom, when is my baby brother coming? I want to play with him!” When I asked him what “baby brother” he was referring to, he answered, “The one in your belly.”
I laughed and told him that I had no baby in my belly. What he said next sent a supernatural fear that ran right through me: “Yes you do. You have a baby in your belly right now.”
Over the month, he repeated this three more times. Out of the blue, he would suddenly sigh and complain, “When is my baby brother coming? It’s taking so long!”
A few days later, I took a test. I was pregnant.
A pregnancy of fear
Unfortunately, there was no joy in this pregnancy, only fear. This fear was accompanied with much humiliation, as so many had a difficult time understanding how we could “allow” this pregnancy to happen. Relationships with family was strained, while other relationships with friends completely broke off. “How could you let this happen??” someone asked me. “How could you be so irresponsible??”
Though I felt that this question was unfair and none of their business, I informed them that we had practiced NFP. And with NFP, God has the final say.
Knowing I was going to need a lot of support, I looked up a doctor who claimed he was prolife. Expecting to find reassurance and comfort, I was stunned when this doctor advised that the best thing I could do was to abort before the baby grew any bigger. “Wait any longer, and it will just be more painful for both of you.” he said. That was the day I learned not everyone believes that life begins at conception.
My cardiologist was not happy with me either. This hurt the most. Being his “rock star patient” who beat the odds against death, my doctors and nurses were full of praise and compliments every time they saw me. But now, I sensed deep disappointment. Our doctor-patient relationship was strained as my doctor rolled up his sleeves to help me with this mess that I had gotten myself into.
Me and Dennis learned to keep our mouths shut about the pregnancy, though my growing belly was an all around pro-life statement wherever I went. “So how’s ‘the pregnancy of death’?” someone joked to me one day. Snide comments and anxious questions followed us wherever we went.
As days and weeks ticked by, I watched my belly grow bigger and bigger. The closer we came to the due date, the less time I felt I had to live. I spent a lot of time in front of the Blessed Sacrament asking God for strength to continue on with the pregnancy. There were times I was so overwhelmed with fear, I felt the temptation to end it. But the morals of my Catholic faith saved me from making such a decision. Knowing it was a serious sin, remembering it was a baby who had a right to life, gave me the courage to go on. Still, there were days when my faith was the only thing left to cling to.
Though my family was supportive, they were also afraid for me, and so for this reason, I didn’t feel I could really open up about my own fears. My friends who had supported me during my heart attack, bringing my family food and playing with my children while I recovered in the hospital, became very angry with me, stating that they “couldn’t watch me kill myself.” I lost all contact with them during my entire pregnancy. Even between me and Dennis, there was little joy. I bought baby items almost in secret, afraid to show some of the glimmer of excitement that was in my mother-heart for the baby I wanted to welcome. Having thought that we were through with children after my heart attack, we had gotten rid of all our baby things, so I had to buy everything all over again. I was absolutely thrilled to find the same bassinet that we had sold to a second-hand store still sitting there, waiting for us to buy it. I felt God’s loving encouragement despite the darkness of my pregnancy. I brought the bassinet home and set it up in our bedroom, happy to know that Max’s baby brother would share his same bassinet.
Breathing in, breathing out
As we neared the final days of pregnancy, I think my last straw was when my doctor advised me to make a living will. Others also encouraged me to do this, stating it would be much easier for them to know my wishes if I should die. So with a heavy heart, I wrote out my wishes that the baby be taken first, and if possible, save me too. I handed the note to Dennis and asked him to hide it. I didn’t want to see it.
One night, I laid down on my bed for a rest. As I put my hands on my belly as I normally did, I felt it rise and fall. Confused, I looked down and realized that this was not coming from me. It was coming from the baby. Through my own belly, I could watch my baby breathe.
All babies in the womb do “practice breathing” at some point, preparing their lungs for birth. However, many moms aren’t aware of it or completely miss it since babies practice whenever they feel like it. Fortunately for me, Henry practiced breathing all the time. So much, in fact, that it was even caught on ultrasound. (See above pic.)
I watched in amazement as my baby breathed in and out, in and out, practicing breathing, preparing his body for his entrance into the world. He was oblivious of the turmoil we were all in, or how his unexpected presence had turned our lives upside down. In his tiny mind, all was well in his world. He was warm and secure, He was breathing, practicing, and living his life. This was a healing moment for me, watching my baby breathe.
I couldn’t get enough out of this miracle I was witnessing. Every day, Henry and I would breathe together. Excitedly I showed Dennis, putting his hand on my belly, waiting for the baby to practice breathing. And always on cue, little Henry would play his little trick, breathing in and out. In and out….
But mostly, at the end of the day, it would be just me and him, and we would breathe together. After a stressful appointment, or negative comments, I would shut the door of my room and lay quietly on my bed, waiting for him to show me he was eager to see me as I was learning to be to see him.
And soon, my belly would start to breathe all on its own. I would place one hand on my belly, and one hand on my heart, and together we practiced living our life quietly and simply, breathing in the breath of life and breathing out the negativity that wanted to kill us.
This gift of God
The day came for Henry to enter into the world and take his first real breath. He arrived by C-section, with me connected to heart monitors as a precaution. As I held him for the first time in my arms. I watched my baby breathe in and out, in and out. His weeks of practice paid off: he let out such a gusty loud cry that doctors and nurses were startled; believing that something had pinched him.
And those doctors? Most of them said I was “lucky.” One doctor said she was happy for me but wouldn’t treat me if I should get pregnant again. But one of them was humble enough to say, “I was wrong.”
Now, four years later, with my heart healthy and sound, life with five children can be a lot to handle. Me and Henry have a special relationship together, and though he doesn’t know it, I still find solace in his company. Sometimes after a busy day, as I tuck him in and watch him sleep, I put my hand on his belly and close my eyes, and we breathe together. Breathing in life, breathing negativity out. Breathing in God’s healing. Remembering that rocky time together. But mostly, cherishing this gift . . . the gift of Henry, and the gift of grace that helped me trust in God, the author of life.
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Divine Mercy Sunday 2017
From my prospective it has been a long hard lent. Lots of lessons to be learned. The most profound move for me has been to see and understand the scripture relating to the last 40 days of Christ Life from His prospective. Perhaps it is impossible to really grasp all that He was going through but He gives some pretty big hints.Mark 14:34 " My Soul is sorrowful to the point of death," "Stay here and keep watch with Me."
Why was Jesus so sorrowful?? Why did He groan with emotional pain as He prayed alone in the garden?? Why did He sweat Blood?? Perhaps part of the answer lies in another statement He made, Mark 26:40, "Could you not watch one hour with Me," He asked Peter.
Why did Jesus say to His Father, "My Father if it is possible let this cup pass from Me, yet not as I will but as You will."
I believe that the lack of faith of those closest to Jesus was enough for Him to be in despair. Jesus gave everything but His Life for them while walking and talking and teaching them for 3 1/2 years. If they didn't get it how was anyone else going to? How could He have failed to the point of them not even being able to pray for one hour with Him?
So we move on and Jesus is betrayed to an even deeper level by Peter and the other disciples. He is scourged, mocked and murdered while those closest to Him watch ran away or directly deny knowing Him.
At one point Jesus called Peter out for not believing what Jesus told him, "Get behind Me Satan." How serious it was and is not to believe the teaching of Jesus. For Peter to decide in front of the others that the most important and difficult part of the message was not true because it, "hurt too much" was very serious. Was Peter thinking of Jesus or himself. Did he not so enjoy being with the Master and being a follower that he didn't want anything painful to change all of that?? As a follower you can accept some of the teaching or reject it but as a teacher you must tell the whole truth, believe and live the whole truth. A much more difficult, uncomfortable position to be in.
It all had to change in order for the message of Jesus to be available to this day. In order that there would be a resurrection, that Jesus would return and continue to teach those who mocked and scorned and crucified Him. I have wondered if any of them apologized to Him. He met them were they were at, allowing Thomas to put his hand in the Wound on His Side. Thomas needed to be absolutely sure it was Jesus living not an imposter. Some people are like that. No matter how much Christ shows His Love for them they have to be sure.
As I consider this day as Divine Mercy Sunday scheduled so soon after Easter it is because of the great Mercy shown to His disciples, His friends so soon after the crucifixion. From the Diary of St. Faustina, "The greatest sinner deserves My Mercy the most."
Mankind sinned greatly to His face and continues to this day. We can't pretend that we are actually better than those who turned Him over to pilot and said, "Crucify Him, Crucify Him."
It is a struggle moment by moment not to be a taker but to somehow try to
be a giver.
To be a person who says, "Father forgive them for they know not what they
do. "
And go on to wash their feet.
For me this is what Divine Mercy is about, 1 John 4:19: "We Love Because He
First Loved Us."
Most Sincerely, on this Glorious Day,
~Margaret of Souls for Jesus
Sunday, April 16, 2017
SUNDAY APRIL 16, 2017 – EASTER SUNDAY
You Shall Believe
Gospel - JN 20:1-9
On the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning, while it was still dark, and saw the stone removed from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter
and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them,
“They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don’t know where they put him.”
So Peter and the other disciple went out and came to the tomb. They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter and arrived at the tomb first; he bent down and saw the burial cloths there, but did not go in. When Simon Peter arrived after him, he went into the tomb and saw the burial cloths there, and the cloth that had covered his head, not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place. Then the other disciple also went in, the one who had arrived at the tomb first, and he saw and believed. For they did not yet understand the Scripture that he had to rise from the dead.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church
2174 Jesus rose from the dead “on the first day of the week.” Because it is the “first day,” the day of Christ’s Resurrection recalls the first creation. Because it is the “eighth day” following the sabbath, it symbolizes the new creation ushered in by Christ’s Resurrection. For Christians it has become the first of all days, the first of all feasts, the Lord’s Day (he kuriake hemera, dies dominica)—Sunday.
647 O truly blessed Night, sings the Exsultet of the Easter Vigil, which alone deserved to know the time and the hour when Christ rose from the realm of the dead! But no one was an eyewitness to Christ’s Resurrection and no evangelist describes it. No one can say how it came about physically. Still less was its innermost essence, his passing over to another life, perceptible to the senses. Although the Resurrection was an historical event that could be verified by the sign of the empty tomb and by the reality of the apostles’ encounters with the risen Christ, still it remains at the very heart of the mystery of faith as something that transcends and surpasses history. This is why the risen Christ does not reveal himself to the world, but to his disciples, “to those who came up with him from Galilee to Jerusalem, who are now his witnesses to the people.”
625 Christ’s stay in the tomb constitutes the real link between his passible state before Easter and his glorious and risen state today. The same person of the “Living One” can say, “I died, and behold I am alive for evermore.”
From “The Stations of the Cross” Testimony of Catalina Rivas (Pg.9)
THE FIFTEENTH STATION
THE RESURRECTION OF JESUS
† We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world.
Holy Friday was followed by the glorious dawn of the Sunday of the Resurrection. It is My redeeming Blood that waters the arid lands that have become the deserts in the world of souls. And this Blood will always run over the earth as long as there is one man to save. I have not died on the Cross, and gone through a thousand tortures to populate Hell with souls, but rather, to populate Heaven with chosen ones. I say again, My children, poor sinners! Do not distance yourselves from Me. I wait for you night and day at the Tabernacle. I will not reproach you for your crimes; I will not throw your sins in your face. What I will do is to wash you with the Blood of My wounds. Do not be afraid, come to Me. You do not know how much I love you. Come now, My children. Come to Me. I am your Lord Who awaits you in the Tabernacle. I am completely present in Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. Do you want to know Me? Then come and spend time with Me. I love you, dear children.
Gospel - JN 20:1-9On the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning, while it was still dark, and saw the stone removed from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter
and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them,
“They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don’t know where they put him.”
So Peter and the other disciple went out and came to the tomb. They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter and arrived at the tomb first; he bent down and saw the burial cloths there, but did not go in. When Simon Peter arrived after him, he went into the tomb and saw the burial cloths there, and the cloth that had covered his head, not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place. Then the other disciple also went in, the one who had arrived at the tomb first, and he saw and believed. For they did not yet understand the Scripture that he had to rise from the dead.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church
2174 Jesus rose from the dead “on the first day of the week.” Because it is the “first day,” the day of Christ’s Resurrection recalls the first creation. Because it is the “eighth day” following the sabbath, it symbolizes the new creation ushered in by Christ’s Resurrection. For Christians it has become the first of all days, the first of all feasts, the Lord’s Day (he kuriake hemera, dies dominica)—Sunday.
647 O truly blessed Night, sings the Exsultet of the Easter Vigil, which alone deserved to know the time and the hour when Christ rose from the realm of the dead! But no one was an eyewitness to Christ’s Resurrection and no evangelist describes it. No one can say how it came about physically. Still less was its innermost essence, his passing over to another life, perceptible to the senses. Although the Resurrection was an historical event that could be verified by the sign of the empty tomb and by the reality of the apostles’ encounters with the risen Christ, still it remains at the very heart of the mystery of faith as something that transcends and surpasses history. This is why the risen Christ does not reveal himself to the world, but to his disciples, “to those who came up with him from Galilee to Jerusalem, who are now his witnesses to the people.”
625 Christ’s stay in the tomb constitutes the real link between his passible state before Easter and his glorious and risen state today. The same person of the “Living One” can say, “I died, and behold I am alive for evermore.”
From “The Stations of the Cross” Testimony of Catalina Rivas (Pg.9)
THE FIFTEENTH STATION
THE RESURRECTION OF JESUS
† We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world.
Holy Friday was followed by the glorious dawn of the Sunday of the Resurrection. It is My redeeming Blood that waters the arid lands that have become the deserts in the world of souls. And this Blood will always run over the earth as long as there is one man to save. I have not died on the Cross, and gone through a thousand tortures to populate Hell with souls, but rather, to populate Heaven with chosen ones. I say again, My children, poor sinners! Do not distance yourselves from Me. I wait for you night and day at the Tabernacle. I will not reproach you for your crimes; I will not throw your sins in your face. What I will do is to wash you with the Blood of My wounds. Do not be afraid, come to Me. You do not know how much I love you. Come now, My children. Come to Me. I am your Lord Who awaits you in the Tabernacle. I am completely present in Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. Do you want to know Me? Then come and spend time with Me. I love you, dear children.
"Come to Me now, I am waiting for you."
† Jesus, most obedient, meek and humble of heart, have mercy on us.
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